Tears and Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all you Father's out there. Today makes me miss my father who passed away in 1991 from a massive heart attack at the age of 52. So young. He raised me mainly on his own in between horrible step mothers who would act like they would be the best mothers in the world until he married them and then they turned into wicked stepmothers. When I was five he was married for a short time to one I actually called "Old Black Witch". I actually called her that (not to her face of course), but things must have been pretty bad for a 5 year old to refer to the woman who was raising her as that. I call that my dark period, because my father traveled a lot on business, and I was left to fend for myself a lot of the times with this woman. Many times things did not go well, and they must have been down right terrible because many on my dad's side of the family tell me it was good that I blocked much of it, because I do not remember many things that happened during that time. Those are also things I hope to never remember if they were bad enough for me to block them. My poor dad tried his best, but was not the best judge of character, and I can only imagine these women thought he was a catch, or they were looking for someone to take care of them/raise their kids with, or whatever, and they just did what they had to do to get a man, and just do the best they could with the little freckle faced girl that came as part of the package. My dad truly did love me and when he figured out their game, he was out of there, taking the only girl/woman that ever truly loved him (outside of my last stepmom Kathy - she truly did love him and me and although he is gone, she still treats me as her own). Things were never easy for him. He had his first massive heart attack at the age of 38, and it scared the hell out of him. His family has a horrific history of heart disease, and it seemed that the pattern was to continue. He had lost older brothers to heart disease early in thier lives, and now it seemed he was following the same path. He recovered from that heart attack, and went on to have several more, with the last one killing him at the age of 52. I am scared too. This pattern seems to follow the women in the family as well as the men, which is why I go to the gym/walk and do my best to stay healthy. I miss my daddy. He was my everything. Luckily I have a wonderful husband whom I had just married when my father passed away. Some of my relatives swear that my father lived long enough to make sure I was happy. My biggest regret is that he never got to meet my beautiful daughter. He was the greatest grandfather to my two young boys that he loved so much. Every Saturday he would come pick them up and take them to the "Cafe" for french fries and chocolate milk. Then he would take them to the convience store and let them buy candy and then bring them home. They loved that! I did too, because at that time I was a single mom really struggling, and I needed that break. He knew it. I miss him.

This morning we woke up and I made bacon, eggs, and lemon poppy muffins for the daddy of this house. We bought him some cedar planks and later we will be doing some salmon on cedar planks on the grill. Yum! We are also making homemade chocolate icecream and yes, we are having a healthy salad, corn on the cob, and whatever else he wants because today is his day! After breakfast, daughter came downstairs crying because she had broken up with her boyfriend and she was devistated. She had been going out with him since Christmas - although, they really didn't go out since they are like 12, and there was no where for them to really go. We did take them to a hockey game once with a bunch of other kids, so I guess that is what a 12 year old calls going out. He was the best kind of boyfriend for her to have because he was not the least bit annoying. So tears and drama all around on Father's Day. I hope yours is not so devistating. Hug your fathers, you are blessed to have them in your life. Hug your husband for being a great dad (or at least trying). Have a great Father's Day!