Well...hubby is on his way with Mother in Law. Now, I do not want you all to think I do not like the lady, it's just that she drives me (and most of us) absolutely nuts. Okay, picture this: loud New Yorker (her) and quiet Southern Belle (me). Now, picture this: oil (her) and water (me). There you go. Perfect explaination. Sometimes she can be okay, but other times, she just asks entirely too many questions. I have spent most of my day trying to come up with witty comebacks to her constant questioning. May I share a few with you?
Her: (Starting at noon everyday) - "What did you lay out for dinner? Have you thought about dinner yet?
Me: "I was thinking of a nice Chianti with a side of fava beans" (insert gross noises here - she won't know what the hell I am talking about).
Her: "Why are you vaccuming your floor when you could simply use a broom?"
Me: "I don't know, I like doing things the hard way".
Her: "Why can't you just wash the few dishes you have in the sink instead of putting them in the dishwasher?"
Me: "Because once again, I am a goober and I like doing things the hard way"
Her: "What channel is Matlock on? I keep putting it on channel 2 and it's not there"
Me: "For the 100th time....you do not live in our state and we have different channels than you. Matlock has been outlawed in our state. Please do not try to find it because I really do not feel like sitting in jail because you are watching an old person show (sorry to all you young folks that love Matlock).
Okay, these are just a few examples. I need to figure out how not to sound like a complete ass when I respond to the many questions that will be coming my way. If you have any suggestions, please let me know.
I could also refer to the hilarious movie we watched the other night and just say something like this: "Durka durka"
HA! There I go again!
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